If men were to share what they go through in relationships as women do, the world would run its tears banks dry. It is not a natural instinct for men to cry for help. Their inflated ego, or the need to be “macho,” does not allow them to consider themselves victims of physical or emotional abuse in their marriage.

In one point or another, you might have had this nightmare(s). You are at the funeral of your close male friend, brother, dad or uncle. This is thanks to his conniving wife.

Related: 7 tips On How To Save Your Marriage From Divorce

Also read: 9 Telltale Signs You Are Dating A Sociopath

When you wake up from the nightmare, you are terrified that he might actually snap and kill himself. You can feel him slipping through your fingers each day. C’mon, we’ve all read this script, it is just that we are too blind to grasp what is happening.

Signs of Domestic Abuse in Men

He once had numerous friends, countless hobbies, he was charming, confident and was a great person to hang around. However, over the past few years of getting married, he has been cutting himself off his family and friends.

He’s no longer excited about life. He gave up on his hobbies, and the confident charming guy is now reserved. You don’t even know whether he has any friends anymore. Some call this maturity and onset of responsibility; is it?

Despite his huge salary, he is always broke. His super demanding wife has forced him to survive on advance salaries and payday loans.

Forget about the wife’s siblings and parents. He is taking care of her grandparents, uncles, and distant cousins, yet no dime is sent home to support his ailing father. He has not just stopped helping his family and siblings but he is slowly turning cold towards them…

She’s a housewife, but always insists they get a second car they can’t afford. Else the ‘Uber’ bill will make your stomach turn.

When you text him, the wife replies. You only seize the opportunity to talk to him when the wife steps out momentarily because she’s always all over him like a rash. Though you are glad he is still alive, you wouldn’t call it living.

What the F*% Happened?

He is actually trapped in a physically and emotionally abusive relationship. However, the abuse is more of emotional than physical. It is subtly but progressively erodes his dignity, self-esteem, causing him to doubt himself, and distrust his perceptions.

The wife is actually controlling and dominating him, with verbal and emotional abuse as her major weapon. She’s impatient, self-centered, unreasonable, unforgiving, and insensitive. She lacks empathy and is often suspicious, jealous, and withholding.

See: 7 Worrying Signs She’s A Crazy Bitch Who’ll Ruin Your Life

To control the man, she “takes hostages,” i.e. isolates him from friends and family. She also drains him financially to ensure he does have independence.

The children are also a bargaining chip. She threatens to take away the children in case he leaves. In worst cases, she even threatens to kill them, and commit suicide.

She humiliates him in public or makes negative comments on social media when the relationship is not going her way. Threatens to take everything he’s worth in case he decides to leave her.

The relationship might great sometimes but more often than not, her mood swings break off the chains. You suspect she has a serious mental disorder. This is especially after she showed up at his workplace with their kids in tow; causing a ruckus about how he has neglected them!

A must read: She’s Fragile Not like a Flower, But like a bomb! Dating A Psychopath

From Emotional Abuse Marriage to Physical Abuse

Besides emotional psychological abuse, women can also get physical. It is common to hear women saying,” I flipped and slapped him and bit him till he bled”.

Or “we were arguing while I was cutting groceries and ended up stabbing him on his shoulder”.
“I cheated too to prove that he was not the only one in demand…”

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“Or he made me mad, I smashed his iPhone on the wall, slashed his car tires, cracked his windscreen…”

Here’s a good one, “I let him have the cookie only after he has bought me something nice.”

There are also incidences chopping off private parts, murders, false allegations of sexual assault etc.

In short, it is either her way or the highway!

Why do Men Suffer Emotional and Physical Abuse in Silence?

We rarely hear of male domestic abuse yet there are many men who go through the same. First, it is possible that the men do not know they are being abused and that women are not conscious of the pain they inflict.

This is because women abuse men differently than men do. Society recognizes only physical abuse which is mainly perpetrated by men. The emotional abuse which is mainly perpetrated by women is at times more injurious than physical abuse. Unfortunately, it is rarely recognized as abuse.

Moreover, a man who is a victim of physical abuse is shamed by society for not being able to tame his wife. They are usually labeled as ‘wimps’ and the woman’s actions minimized.

A must read: 21 Signs You Are Still A Boy, Not A Man!

Explain to me like a two-year-old, how you tame a broken woman?

Women are also professional victims even when they are the abusers. In an incidence where a woman crashed their sons’ guitar on her husband head, the man ended up being arrested because she hysterically claimed that she did it out of self-defense.

The justice system is also biased against men. Women have an almost 100% guarantee of winning child custody during divorce proceedings. They also get child support, alimony, while only a small percentage of men ever get to enjoy such benefits.

It is time we fixed this physical and emotional abuse in marriage against men!