“Justin Bieber,” Amira responds, not taking Mikaya seriously – she knows she can get over-the-top dramatic for no apparent reason.

“Mscheeew! Your husband and your boyfriend!” Mikaya whispers over the phone.

“Who?” Amira asks, not sure what Mikaya is talking about. Before Amira can get more details, Mikaya breathlessly bursts into her office only to find Amira with a client.

Mikaya apologizes, walks out, then 10 seconds later, knocks on her door, scratching her head, and says, “Can I see you for a second? It’s urgent!”

Having noticed that Mikaya is not bluffing, Amira excuses herself, quickly following her. “They are at our manager’s office,” Mikaya says as she walks a stride faster.

“I pray for your own sake you are not pranking me,” Amira hisses nervously between her teeth.

As the two men emerge from the manager’s office, they spot each other at the same time. Willis waves at them with a stellar smile curved on his lips. They wave back as Amira reluctantly walks toward her husband, who is standing right next to Zane. “Shit! Shit! Shit! How the hell did I get myself into such a mess!” She mutters to herself.

“What are you doing here?” She asks in a surprised tone as she gets two meters in their range.

“Hey, come say Hi first,” Willis says with open arms.

She gives him a hurried hug and then awkwardly shakes Zane’s hand. “Just happened to be around and then decided to drop by to see my buddy. I tried to call you, but you didn’t pick up,” Willis explains.

“You did?” Amira asks as she nervously rubs the back of her arm with her nails. The stinging pain alerts her that she’s badly scratched herself…

More on: With Eyes Wide Closed

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Julie from the Empress Show – Women Founders – interviews Emily from Thelocco Men Suits about the possibilities of exponential business growth. The ladies have a candid heart-to-heart, sometimes ribs-cracking talk.

So we thought we should share our (Thelocco Mens Suits) STORY with you (TRY NOT TO LAUGH).

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For the readers, see the BEST SELLING Books at Thelocco Books:

Read Synopsis With Eyes Wide Open Novel

Read Synopsis With Eyes Wide Closed Novel

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Here is a good place to shop for Men’s Suits & Menswear in Kenya

The Skill Up Mentorship Programme

The theme for the skill mentorship program was to create an avenue for the MCs, event organizers, entertainers, and entrepreneurs to meet, talk, learn, and network. This event attracted crème de la crème of the entertainment industry in Kenya, who explored various aspects of scaling and skilling up. Talk of the talented emcees such as MC Headboy, MC Gitone Mike, Chris Kirwa, MC Kamal, MC Himaz, and more.

Emceeing cuts across a broad range of events, including state functions, corporate events, social events such as weddings & parties, roadshows, and TV hosting. Emceeing is a vibrant and highly competitive sector in the entertainment industry. The art of emceeing the trade demands passion, talent, energy, love for people, and experience to capture people’s attention.

The moderator was well-informed with the hosts and adequately grilled them on relevant topics. The hosts shared how COVID-19 pandemic halted the events-organizing industry. It disrupted the source of income for many but also opened other opportunities, such as online event hosting. This shows the importance of being creative and adaptive to change. Business acumen and professionalism were highlighted as key to longevity in the industry. For instance, the top emcees who attract corporate events can command handsome pay and are highly professional.

Building a good rapport with other players in the event-organizing sector is vital for growth. Social media has enormously revolutionized the industry, and it is a great place to market oneself freely. This program brought together multitalented media personalities with a wealth of experience and knowledge to teach the upcoming MCs.

The program was also graced by leading emcees in state ministries and county forums at government-level functions. This talk exposed us to opportunities to work with government agencies and the rest of the corporate world. It was particularly entertaining to listen and learn from the event that pitched celebrated club, roadshow, and reggae MCeeing gurus such as Mc Sheriff, Mc Gogo, and Mc NattyBoy.

Thelocco Men Suits Brand

TheLocco a men’s wear apparel brand, was honored to grace the event. Speaking at the event, Thelocco Men’s Suits director highlighted the importance of personal branding and image in having a successful career in the events industry. Moreover, they demonstrated how to dress best for various events and occasions.

A model from Thelocco Men’s Suits dressed in a double-breasted suit at the Skill Up Event

To crown it all, we were fascinated by the inspiring stories shared by the guest speakers regarding their journeys and finding a place as an emcee in the Kenyan market.

Some key takeaways from the event were the need for consistency, professionalism, organization, pricing strategies, and personal branding. One must be innovative and adapt to industry trends to maneuver in the ever-dynamic industry.

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See the Synopsis of With Eyes Wide Open Novel

The anxiety, the hope, the uncertainty…. It’s as if it reflects life in general and 99% of my life. I especially love that the author picked a familiar beginning of the story, but that the experience of Joy was totally different compared to the typical storylines of teen mothers we usually get. The story, just like life itself, doesn’t conform to the typical “norms” society has created, thus making it original.

Natela Is Pushed Against the Wall

The sexual assault on Natela and yet not immediately getting angry at the perpetrator is an aspect I also found intriguing and quite relatable. It shows that, in some instances, someone will not always react in the way expected by all. A lack of immediate reaction could also mean a different way of dealing with trauma for some people. It could also mean that sometimes the victim might not understand the weighty impact of the injustice done to them and may want to seek justice in the future when they fully understand.

The mother being the one to chase her daughter mercilessly without hearing her side of the story is very ironic, considering she had also been unfaithful in her marriage. Maybe it’s because her daughter reminded her of her mistakes. Listening to our children is a skill most parents need to acquire these days, and guiding a child once they’ve made a mistake is also very crucial, especially since mental health is a current issue. Joy was lucky she had the will to leave. Most people in her shoes would instead commit suicide.

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The Nice One’s Finish Last But…

People like Caali are the best people in the world; they are kind-hearted, always willing to help, and always go out of their way to help strangers. The other similar character is Mama T, who, despite suffering and losing her daughter and all finances, still had a heart willing to help. Not forgetting the bodaboda driver who took Natela from the hospital despite her pregnancy and still wanted to take care of her and her baby.

The only problem is that, in reality, they are usually either doing the least paying jobs, suffering, being forgotten, termed creepy, or remembered last for their kindness, just as portrayed in the novel. If we were all mostly humane, such people should be the first to be recognized. The only advantage they have is their power to be content knowing they helped someone out. Peace of mind. God bless them.

Infertility/Childlessness

Impotency is also a major issue that is slowly arising. Whether it’s natural or a result of certain practices, it is rarely mentioned in literary works. It is also a very difficult thing for most men to accept. When a woman can’t get pregnant soon enough, everyone automatically labels her “barren”. Nobody ever thinks of the possibility that the man could be the impotent one.

The rumors and misconceptions that are pinned on ladies who don’t easily get pregnant are also not true most of the times. For example, the allegations that Joy’s mother might have had an abortion before are the probable reason why she was not getting pregnant.

A Messed-up Religious Family

The story also tackles a huge family issue, dishonesty. It is alarming that the number of fathers who support children thinking the children are theirs yet the children are another man’s, who is probably taking care of other children who do not think that they are his. Some never discover till they die, unfortunately.

I also enjoyed that the protagonist did not suffer all the time. She had a good 3 years of enjoying the money she was lucky to get. The issue of child trafficking, blackmail, drug dealing, and fraud have also been tackled clearly. Another aspect I admire is the friendship between Wanda and Natela. Despite their misunderstandings, Joy still sticks to her side to the end. Is it true friendship or is the best friend thing just overrated?

Joy’s younger brother’s condescending attitude is a problem elder siblings generally face. Most younger siblings feel entitled to privileges from their elder siblings, especially money. They tend to hurl back words or remind their elder siblings of their past mistakes when not given what they want. It’s like cutting the hand that feeds you yet expecting to still eat normally.

About Natela’s biological father…. That was really an unexpected twist to the story. I don’t know how to describe it. Being a Christian obliges me not to believe in curses, but my traditional beliefs do believe in curses. Maybe their relationship had something to do with the Oedipus complex. Either way, that must have been really a shock for the two. That was such a sad outcome for Natela, especially now that she was ready to settle down.

A Few Issues

There were some minor avoidable grammatical errors (I’m sure this will be improved). My copy also missed a few pages. The translation from Swahili to English also needs some sharpening. Some translations were off.

Language Use In With Eyes Wide Open Novel

The novel’s highlight is the use of Swahili/ Sheng’ in some contexts to bring the message home. There’s always something lost in translation sometimes and understanding it from the language and culture of the people makes it outstanding.

Being a natural talker and a passionate analyzer, I could write much more, but that would not be cool. If I could summarize my POV in a poem, I would.

This is a must-read for both young and mature people.

With Eyes Wide Open, a Kenyan Novel Review by: Joan Joy

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Their first conversation was Gerhard ‘innocently’ requesting Jackline to share notes for a class or two he had missed. A classic move. Of course, he could have borrowed the notes from anyone else, but she was gorgeous and focused.

See Some of the Best Wedding Suits in Kenya

He then looked her up on LinkedIn and chatted her up. I know, right? Who knew LinkedIn would give tinder a run for its money?

Gerhard and Jackline Wedding Teaser Video

Their first date was in April 2018 at Subway Kenyatta Avenue. He asked her to be his girlfriend four months later, just as he was about to leave for Hungary for a 3 months work trip.

Gerhard was in no hurry; he let her brood upon it until his return. He must have played his cards right with the international calls and texting because she received him with a warm embrace at the airport.

What Jackline loves most about Gerhard is that he is a proper gentleman. He never rushed or forced things. He gave her time to understand him, and most importantly, he was intentional about pursuing her till she couldn’t resist his advances.

The Wedding

They had planned to have their wedding in 2021, but COVID happened. More than COVID happened because they also had a huge fallout the same year. Fortunately, their relationship was saved by the mediation of their close friends through an overnight virtual call.

The bride Jackeline Bor

They had their traditional wedding in Jan 2022 and then set out to prepare for their white wedding. The beauty of preparing for their wedding is that they worked as a team to make it a success. This is a strength they plan to lean on throughout their marriage.

Groom – Gerhard Uduny In a Wedding Tuxedo by Thelocco Men Suits

They opted not to fundraise for their wedding. The couple held a corporate-like meeting every Sunday evening to prepare for their upcoming big day. Friends and family came in at the tail end to support logistics and finances.

Their only prayer on their wedding day was for the skies to remain clear; it didn’t rain.
Their honeymoon itinerary included the Dubai Marina, the Arabian Desert tour, and then wind it down will the cool ocean breeze of Mombasa.

The groom appreciates Thelocco Men Suits for hooking him up with the perfect wedding Tuxedo and hassle-free shopping experience. He had initially intended to wear a white wedding suit but eventually fell for the black tuxedo.

The now happily married couple attributes the success of their wedding and marriage to God’s grace, love, early preparation, and teamwork.

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I FELT IT!
The magic of this poetry book is that it has been written from the heart. It accurately represents the author’s state of mind and emotions, ranging from the highs of love to the deep dark trenches of depression. She gets vulnerable, shares her steamy moments of passion, and also sheds light on the ugly scars she has endured in the journey of life that wound up turning into mental cages.

Divided into three chapters, I reeled on the madness and the freedom drunk from the cup of love in the first chapter. The calm in the second chapter on freedom and the bliss of secure relationships allowed me to breathe and brace for Chapter 3: REBELLION!

This is a must-read book for those into poetry or just getting their feet wet in this genre.

Get your Copy of The Cages We Built

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Guess who is responsible for shaping your child’s early childhood experiences; you the parent.

Parenting Styles: Attachment Theory

John Bowlby’s attachment theory can help us determine if we are great parents by analysing what happens when a child is physically separated from the parent. The child often experiences intense distress expressed by clinging, crying, and throwing tantrums to avoid separation [1].

Also Read: Are We Babying Our Kids To Death?

Related: 30 Agonising Parenting Phrases We Swore To Never Use But Still Are!

Most of us see this as an immature emotional response to express emotional pain. Attachment theory however explains this as a natural survival instinct to avoid losing the primary caregiver [1]. According to the theory, how your child reacts when you get separated especially in an unfamiliar environment tells so much about the kind of parent you are.

Children are likely to respond in the following ways when separated from their parent:

• Securely also called secure attachment
• Insecurely – avoidant attachment
• Insecurely – ambivalent/resistant attachment
• Disoriented – disorganized attachment

Secure Attachment

Kids with a secure attachment, freely explore and play in their mother’s presence or in a familiar environment. The baby gets distressed when the mother leaves especially if a stranger is present and expresses joy when the mother returns.

The baby quickly settles back to whatever he/she was doing with the assured presence of the mother.

Mothers who inspire secure attachment are responsive, loving, warm, and emotionally available. Consequently, the baby is able to confidently express their feelings both positive and negative because they are assured that the mother will handle them accordingly.

Insecure – Avoidant Attachments

The babies seem indifferent to their mother’s presence and do not get distressed when the mother leaves. They exhibit similar behaviour with a stranger. The baby might “fail to cling” when picked up by the mother when returns after a period of separation or might totally avoid her.

Such mothers often exhibit anger towards their babies and lash out and are intolerant. Moreover, they tend to associate the baby’s discomfort with wrong motives such as “He’s just crying to spite me.”

According to a study carried out by Spangler, & Grossmann on behaviour of insecurely attached infants, these kids do get upset when the parent leaves. However, they have learned to suppress or rather deactivate these emotions to avoid risking the pain of rejection.

Due to suppressed emotions and fear of rejection, these kids explore the world in a rigid, self-reliant manner. Older children with avoidant attachment tend to be aggressive, hostile, and generally have negative interactions with other kids. They prefer to sulk over solving a problem.

Insecure-Ambivalent/Resistant Attachment

These babies usually waver between episodes of clinginess to their mother and angry resistance. They also avoid playing or exploring in her presence. Though such babies show signs of distress when she leaves, the baby may not express joy when she returns.

The baby seems to want a close relationship with the mother. However, due to her insensitivity and inconsistency, the baby’s confidence is undermined.

As such instead of play, the child spends most of his/her energy focusing on the mother’s behaviour or mood. Such children tend to be inhibited, unassertive, withdrawn, and have poor interpersonal skills.

Disorganized Attachment

This is the most destructive attachment style of all, which predominantly occurs in abusive families. The parent who should be a source of love and security turns out to be the one who scares the child. Thus, the grows with unresolved trauma [3].

Such parents often have a history of:

• Substance abuse
• Mental illness
• Physical & emotional mistreatment
• Extreme poverty

Typically, these children are flooded with anxiety. They also exhibit expressionless or cold postures in the presence of their mothers. Dissociation is their best defence mechanism [4]. Older children are also likely to be aggressive and controlling.

The attachment theory goes further to uncover how early childhood experiences determine the kind of adults we become. Note: The word mother in this article has been used to refer to the primary caregiver which could also be a guardian or the father of the child.

Coming soon: How Childhood Trauma Ruins our Adult Relationships confidence and self-identity.

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Praises from the city residents came in spades. They felt heavily indebted to him because they attributed their liberty 100% to him. They yearned deeply to reward him for this but hardly could they find a reward worth the deed.

Not even money or honour could suffice. Some of the city leaders suggested that he should be crowned the Lord of the City. But neither this came close to the recompense he deserved.

Due to the weight of this matter, it found its way to the City Assembly. A heated debate ensued for days on end with the wise legislators not settling this matter.

Finally, one of the legislators stood up and called the assembly to order so that he could air his opinion. He calmly said, “We should kill him and then worship him as a god; I can’t think of any other honour bigger than this!”

And so they did!

Gratitude Has a Dark Side Too

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It is possible to succeed in life without going to University. There are scores of successful high school dropouts that are living life large without having to rush to and from an unsatisfying job.

Raise such a strong unpopular opinion to your parents at your own risk. You may get lynched especially if your parents are still stuck on the go to school, get good grades, and get a good job doctrine.

Truth is there is nothing wrong with either of the above. The only problem is that this fairy tale no longer works, well for most people.

Related: Don’t Let Schooling Get In The Way Of Your Child’s Education

Also read: Are We Babying Our Kids To Death?

How Did We Get Here?

A quick audit of our education system will detail how the schools, teachers and parents are setting up their children for failure in life. Heck, we teach our kids the same subjects in more or less the same way.

We blatantly ignore the fact these kids have varying talents, passions and different ways of learning. Thus, those that don’t learn best by sitting behind a desk are deemed as failures in life. On the other hand, those that ace the classwork are made to feel that the world owes them a favor.

This is until the competition at the higher levels of the tournament drums the dreams out of them. So everyone settles for careers in the line of investment banking or management consulting.

There is nothing wrong with these careers. However, just that like any other career, they are not meant for everyone.

To Go or Not To Go To University?

College education comes with its perks. Many employers expect those that are getting into the job market to brandish their university papers in the interviews.

Social benefits of going to college are also phenomenal. You will make lifetime friends in college, or even better, you are likely to meet your soulmate or business partner(s). Moreover, school is the perfect place to grow one’s talent by participating in various extracurricular activities.

Do I need to mention the road trips, the parties…? Careful though, some pick up the worst habits in college that  derail the rest of their lives.

Why Not Going To University Can Be a Good Idea

The harsh reality is that not everyone can afford to go to college. Higher education does not come cheap. Yes, there are scholarship options which are mainly partial, and only a select few have access to them.

There’s also the education loans too. These can accumulate beyond $50,000 depending on the cost of education in your country or the school attend. Now imagine starting your career at -$50,000.

Let’s scrap that; you don’t even have a job yet.

Talking of jobs; if your parents aren’t monied or have networks to get you a job as soon as you graduate, this is where the plot thickens. You will struggle to pay off your student loans from meager earnings you get through washing dishes and walking rich peoples dogs…

Coming Soon; How to Be Successful Without a College Degree.

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African parents can be a piece of work. Some wear that attitude of “I brought you into this world, and Lord knows I can as well take you out!”

To celebrate this mothers day, I would like us to reminisce on some of the infamous lines our mothers used on us to enforce discipline. Some of these lines rubbed us so wrong that we swore never to use them on our kids.

Related: How To Have The Awkward Talk About Sex With Your Kids!

Also read: Don’t Let Schooling Get In The Way Of Your Child’s Education

Those who already have kids often kick themselves when they discover that they are using the same lines on their children just like their parents did. Here are some of the:

Agonising African Parenting Phrases We Swore to Never Use on Our kids

1. A teenage girl is stepping out from home; her cleavage is popping from the crest of her tank top. “Naona umeamua kuwanyonyesha sasa?” (I can see that now you have decided to breastfeed them) her mother cynically says.

With teary eyes, she dashes into her room and comes out wearing a full neck. “Happy now” she whines.  “Very, that’s how a self-respecting lady should dress” her mother calmly responds.

2. “Who do you think you’re talking to?”

3. “Before the suns sets, your feet need to be in this house!”

4. “Because I said so!”

5. “I brought you into this world, and I can as well take you out!”

6. “Just WAIT till your father gets home!”

7. “Someone better be bleeding”.

8. “You kids will be the death of me yet.”

9. “Who raised you?”

10. “Where were you harvested?”

11. “One day, God willing, you’ll have kids JUST like you.”

12. “You’ll live.”

13. “Stop crying before I give you something to cry about!”

14. “If your friend jumped off a bridge, would you jump off too?”

15. “Here’s a dime kid…go call someone who cares.”

16. “Understand that money doesn’t grow on trees….”

17. One that usually worked is “Don’t make me come over there.”

18. “Before I count to 3, you better have done what I have asked you to do.”

19. “Unless the house is on fire or you are bleeding, I don’t want to know about it.”

20. “So you were too sick to go to school, but you’re not sick enough to stop having fun?”

21. “Just you wait and see.”

22. “Go ask your father.”

23. “What did your last slave die of?”

24. “It’ll all end in tears.”

25. “As long as you live under my roof…”

26. “What do you expect when you keep acting like a child, I’ll treat you like one.”

27. “We are you going looking like that, go put some clothes on!”

28. “I’ll smack your heads together if you don’t stop it.”

29. “There are children starving around the world, eat your food.”

30. Sometimes she uses the legendary technique; “TEARS,” that would get you bowing your heads in shame and feeling like jumping off a cliff and DIE.

She would stalk you, drive you insane, lecture you, flip out on you, and even hunt you down when need be. Remember guys, she did and this out of love! You will never find somebody who loves, prays, worries and cares for you more than her. She can take the place of all others, yet no one else can take hers!

Eric Gichuru

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