Wounds Unhealed: The Agony of Grief For Loss
I walk briskly towards the podium as I try to make my way through the crowd seated on a web of chairs. I trip on someone’s foot but I’m quick to regain my balance as I whisper a quick apology. I should have probably sat at the front. Typically, I get some jitters when I am about to make a public speech. Not today though, I guess the pain of grief for loss has rendered me numb!
Once on the podium, sore looking eyes look up to me. I am pretty sure that these sore eyes only tell part of the story. Panic, fear, anger, anguish, guilt, loneliness, hopelessness, shock, numbness…there is a cocktail of emotions that lies deep within.
I clear my throat as I am about to read the Eulogy and also to pay tribute to his short fruitful life. It feels unusually dry. I am hoping that I was requested to pay the tribute, not because of my good diction or communication skills, but because I had a huge impact on his life.
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However, deep down, I feel not worthy enough to pay the tribute. Depression had claimed another life young budding life. How can I claim to have played an important part in his life while I only learnt of his depression after his demise?
Also, read: Are We Babying Our Kids To Death? Teen Suicide
As I read the eulogy, a couple of more disturbing questions ran through my mind. Was it even fair to whip out someone’s life in a mere paragraph of words? Why would God allow such a horrible thing to happen in the first place?
Why is this happening to me or my family? Is this his way of punishing us? Why then take the most innocent of us? Who’s to blame for this…?
They say there are 5 stages of grief and loss but it feels like there are a million on them. It is actually a roller coaster experience with so many ups and downs. Initially, you are distracted by the fact there are a myriad of people available to offer emotional support and with the burial preparations.
Once you’ve laid your loved one to rest, everyone leaves. This is where you get to face your demons as reality hits. You are likely to hit the deepest and longest low at this point.
One of the best ways of dealing with grief is to not isolate yourself. Seek support from people close to you. Others find consolation by distracting themselves through work and other activities that keep them occupied. This helps them manage the myriad of negative emotions that arise.
You also need to take care of yourself emotionally by first taking care of your physical self. Moreover, be on the lookout for depression. Grief and depression are usually different things. Seek professional help in case you suspect you are depressed.
There is no formula though for dealing with the pain of grief from loss. What I can promise you is that time heals. The lows will progressively grow shorter and will become less blistering or dreadful. Eventually, you will accept your loss and this is where the healing starts.
However, you will not forget the ones you lost. This is often good thing though. It means that this person is still an important part of you and is still shaping your life in great ways. If you have ever experienced the agony of grief for loss, you can’t wish it even on your worst enemy.
This read makes me feel so sad, the good thing with it is that you have guided on how to go about grieving
I am glad that the article was of help to you.