A little madness in a relationship does spice it up, Right? So where do you draw the line? How do you tell whether your partner is just crazy fun, or really bat-shit crazy? Might you be dating a sociopath and you have no idea you are?
Yes, we all crave to have an adventurous partner that keeps us on the edge. That partner you would love to kill when you are with them, but also feel like you will die when they are not around.
Definition Sociopath
These characters come by many names: sociopaths, psychopaths, people with borderline personality disorder, or antisocial personality disorder just to name a few.
When you mention the name sociopath, the first thing that comes to mind is a perverted serial killer that can eat your brain literally. However, not every sociopath is obviously disturbed. Most are subtle.
A Sociopath has a deep-rooted mental dysfunction that triggers antisocial personality behaviors. These include social isolation, repeated aggressiveness, risky behavior and a tendency to break rules.
Warning signs that you are dating a sociopath
1. Your Gut feeling tells you so
Though you know he/she hasn’t killed anyone yet (that you know of), there’s quite a bit of something that is “off” about your partner. Maybe it’s because he says he’s crazy in a joking manner or the fact that he/she hurts you repeatedly without any signs of shame, guilt or remorse.
2. He/she can charm his way into your pant(ie)s or wallet or your heart
One thing psychopaths are really good at hands-down is a sweet tongue that will melt even the most stubborn people. Your friends love her, your mum adores her, and your dad gives you a wink that signified you hit a jackpot. Did you?
In public, he/she is a social god. He/she can hold a conversation with anyone with a toastmaster-like zeal, including your silly little brother or your gradma with Alzheimer’s. The next moment, they can turn cold on you like they’ve never met you before.
3. A toxic mouth.
When dating a sociopath, one thing you will discover is that, just as he/she can get your head spinning with flattery, he/she can as well destroy your ego and self-worth in a split of a second. Their weapon of choice is a foul mouth.
They tend to use words like:
If you are man enough you could…
You always do this and that
Keeps reminding you of your past failures
Prey on your insecurities e.g. you are fat; you can’t even get it up…
Keeps comparing you with others negatively
Here’s some unsolicited yet helpful advice to all gentlemen out there: If she can dare talk back to her parents in a rude way, your turn will soon come.
In one point or another, everyone has ever encountered someone that can speak ‘shit’ fluently like it is a language on its own.
The sociopath has perfected the art of saying offensive things in a nice way. They thrive on putting other people down just to feel good about themselves.
Have you ever been told by a lady, ‘Tell me what you have to offer, besides a flaccid D#$% and a headache.’ No. Then, you haven’t met em’ yet!
5. Pathological liars.
They will lie about the slightest of things just for the kicks. Including, where he/she bought the shoes, who she was calling, what time he left school…
Of course, they will also lie about big things as well. I know of someone who has ever claimed (lied) to her friends that her mom passed on the previous day just to get their attention.
The most messed up bit about it is they ‘believe their lies’ thus it is hard to catch them on it. They make the best con artists. When caught, they will never admit, they deflect, dilute it or accuse you of something to distract you.
6. Play victim, suicidal, Pity play
Understand that, psychopaths are master manipulators. They will pull every trick in the book to have it their way. Be it shedding tears, revisiting old wounds out of context to get your pity, try to get you jealous, or even threaten suicide.
7. A rollercoaster relationship
One moment, your partner treats you like you the sweetest thing he/she has ever tasted, and the next moment, he/she is spitting you out like bile in their mouth.
They live on the edge, always on the move, and have an extreme need for adventure because they get bored easily.
Some of us have ever done weird things including risky and extreme sexual acts just to meet the whims of their hard to please partners. You always feel that he is about to slip through your fingers thus have to do what he wants for you to keep him.
Social paths have a few friends if any. Thus all their energy is directed to you apart from the times they are trying to make you jealous. This sounds like a good thing, but it gets to a point you feel suffocated. When you try to break free from them, they will stalk you like a predator, show up at your door unannounced, blackmail you and even result to the next point.
9. Physical Abuse
Sociopaths have the dire need to be in control. To them, relationships are a game, and always play to win. That’s why they employ the above arsenal of manipulative techniques to have you under their control. However, if they feel that they can no longer control you, they are likely to result in physical violence. This may include the use of weapons such as knives, guns, etc.
Do not ‘walk away’ from the relationship if you suspect that you are dating a sociopath.
Run! Fast! Now! Dating a psychopath will leave your head spinning at the least. It will cause serious physical and emotional trauma, and in worst cases, have your life hanging on the tipping side of the balance. See a personal confession about my life and times dating a psychopath.
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