3 Mistakes Parents Make When Having The Sex Talk With Their Kids

There is nothing more nerve-wracking for parents than having that sex talk with their kids. Most parents are caught off guard when their gorgeous munchkins suddenly start bombarding them with rather embarrassing questions all about sex.

Must Read!: How To Have The Awkward Talk About Sex With Your Kids!

Related: Are We Babying Our Kids To Death?

It is usual for kids at different ages to ask questions such as:

• Where do children come from?
• How does the baby come out?
• What is having sex?
• What is masturbation?
• Why does my penis expand and then shrinks?
• Does sex hurt?
• Why can’t I sleep in your bed anymore?
• What is an orgasm?
• What is a vagina?
• How do gay people have sex?
• What is safe sex?
• What are contraceptives?
• Should I have a boyfriend/girlfriend?
• And more?

The ‘foot in the mouth’ moments are inevitable as the parents try to hide their embarrassment and to come up with an intelligent response that will throw them off the scent.

You are clueless about how to talk to your kids about sex because your parents did not give you the talk you deserved. Though you could claim you turned out fine, the truth is that you could have turned out much better if you had good sex education.

To help you break the cycle, here are 3 mistakes parents make when having that conversation with their kids:

1. Being embarrassed to talk about sex

If you act embarrassed or uncomfortable, so will be your kids. They will conclude that this is an inappropriate talk and thus will opt to quench their curiosity elsewhere. At this day and age, kids can get information about sex from the media or even their peers.

Soon, you might find out the hard way that they know things about sex that in your many decades of existence has no idea they exist. This is because most of what they learn out there about sex is incomplete or incorrect, which can be dangerous.

The media portrays sex in a superficial sense and has sensationalised it to the point that it lacks relationship or emotional context. Their peers, on the other hand, have perfected the art of glorifying sex and exaggerating/lying about their sexual experience and escapades.

2. Not having the sex talk early enough

Parents avoid giving the badly needed sex education to their children like the plague. They only get to summarise everything in one big talk when the kids are much older. The problem with the big talk is that it is not only awkward, but it is neither here nor there.

The big talk usually goes like, “Now since you are going to high school, the boys will try to get into your pants, just say no!”

Trust me; your teen daughter will be laughing her heart out about this conversation with her friends the moment you drop her at school.

The best way to go about sex education is to talk to your kids early enough by giving them small doses of age-appropriate information. The child will grow, knowing that it is okay to talk to you about their sexuality.

Moreover, they will not be embarrassed to confide in you when they are much older. This will also enable you to take advantage of teachable moments to pass vital information about sex and relationships to them.

3. Focusing on the don’ts

There is nothing wrong about telling about what not to do. However, most parents forget that it is more important to tell them what to do. This is especially when it comes to personal safety and sexuality.

If you teach your kids how to react when in a dangerous circumstance, they will be in a better position, to protect themselves. As such, instead of telling your kids not to sleep around, teach them your family values about intimacy and sex.

Moreover, explain the reasoning behind these values and the consequences of their actions. This will empower them kid to make informed choices throughout their life.

The Wrap Up

The best way to talk to your kids about sex is, to be honest, open, and ongoing. If they don’t get the sex education from you, they’ll hear it from other unreliable sources. Kids who have the sex talk with their parents early enough are likely to abstain until they are much older. They are also more likely to have healthier relationships and make healthier sex choices throughout their life.