Shocking Reasons Why Quarter Life Crisis is Now a Rite of Passage
I don’t mean to be the prophet of doom, but all signs show that quarter-life crisis is now inevitable for most millennials (those in their 20’s and 30’s or rather were born between mid-1980’s up to 2000).
Millennials, also referred to as the generation Y, are a whole new breed of interesting/weird/god-knows-what kids/adults (including myself).
I guess you can’t blame us; we were raised in interesting circumstances and times.
We were taught that life is more of a linear affair. That you go to school, read or work hard, get a degree, get a job, get an awesome family, get rich and then live happily ever after. We bought this line of thinking because it seemed magical and it worked or at least, it seemed to work.
Now that you are a grown man or woman, somewhere in your mid-twenties or early thirties, you are wondering, “did I abort my great dreams or were they just that: dreams!”
You feel like your life has hit a serious low point if not the rock bottom.
It is just the other day we were kids, and now in a blink of an eye, we are now fully fledged adults. This drastic change has created a new form of life crisis.
Forget the midlife crisis where men in their forties and fifty’s buy sports cars…or neglect their families to start wooing girls half their age, hoping to make up for the fun they think they missed…
On the other hand, women in their forties and fifties also go through the midlife crisis. She suddenly becomes a party animal…wears skimpy clothes that rival the style of her teen daughter…
She makes rash decisions like ending a 2-decade marriage, to go for a younger lad who supposedly has the stamina to put out her fire…
The Ben10’s are giving the older folks a run for their money…don’t ask me who these are…
Now, back to the crisis at hand;
Midlife crisis is nothing compared to the quarter life crisis because the latter is more real. Challenges that millennials are currently struggling with make midlife crisis feel like a breeze or something to look forward to.
I wouldn’t mind buying a sports car when feeling frustrated. Or take a vacay to an exotic destination to unwind. These people have money to help them fix their problems.
Unfortunately, for millennials we can’t afford this luxury because we are FREAKING BROKE!
What is Quarter Life Crisis?
Quarter Life Crisis is a phase in life typically between the mid 20’s and the early 30’s where hell breaks loose. The individual cannot handle the stress of being an adult. Growing up feels like a trap.
The monsters that haunt you during this period have several heads; once you think you have slain one, another other one crops up.
The circumstances that we have been exposed to have created this new form of life crisis. The problem is that the modern society including the education system is not set up for you to thrive. It is meant to create workers or rather to keep you in cycles like a cog.
This is why they call it the rat race. A dead-end job doesn’t help you grow but just keeps you grinding and spinning on the spot just like a cog [1].
The economy is not that good as well. In a third world country like Kenya, the unemployment level is close to 40%; 39.1% to be precise [2].
Who do you think makes the majority of these unemployed people? Us of course! Moreover, the entire education system has never prepared you for entrepreneurship. In fact, the society at large considers entrepreneurs as academic failures…
I will also admit that we are good at blaming everyone else for our miserable lives other than ourselves.
Truth be told, we are responsible to a great extent for our own problems. We just need to own it.
We are too ambitious but do too little to make our dreams and ambitions come true. We think life is such a bed of roses but forget that they have thorns as well.
This illusion has probably been created by watching too much TV including fake reality shows that show us; we are supposed to get rich overnight. Little do we know that making a fortune takes a lifetime of discipline, hard work, and relentless initiative.
According to Brian Tracy the author the book ‘Develop A Millionaire Mindset…’ an average millionaire takes 22 years to make the first million dollars.
Ironically, all millennials want is to:
Get that dream job…
…not just a good car but something like a high-end ‘German Machine’
…Live in upscale neighborhoods while their intern pay is just a few pennies…
…have gorgeous kids, which means you have to get a cute husband, and/or cute wife – as if getting into a relationship and maintaining one is not already hard enough…
….Pass your exams, attain high levels of education, while you participate in various co-curricular activities and party hard while at it…
…hit the gym, have a body that everyone covets for, and keep healthy while you barely know where the cash for the next meal will come from…
…heard that Brazalian weaves go for a couple hundreds of dollars…that’s what you want
…chip in to help your extended family financially, make generous contributions to charity…
…stand out socially, be cool, be fashionable, attend some of the coveted events, take her out to exclusive/expensive places, give your friends a treat now and then…
…Your Instagram needs to be on fleek, to keep the 10k+ followers entertained by your fake life
…invest or run a successful a multimillion-dollar business- yet you’ve never run a simple kiosk
…go to some exotic holiday destination abroad, though you have barely visited any attractions in your own home county…
…you think investing is for the old people – remind me again how old are you?
…So besides taking a loan to buy a car, a loan to buy a house, a loan to furnish the house, now you are taking a loan to have a dream wedding that will be the talk of the town for months…
…I can go on all day, yet I will not have exhausted the list of what these new adults badly want or think they needed like yesterday.
The Fix
Simply speaking, this life crisis is mainly brought about by the need to fit in and to be seen that you are doing great by your peers. Unfortunately, this has set you up for absolute misery.
This period of limbo often results in a lot of confusion, pain and in worst cases, depression. Dr. Charles Nemeroff notes that the average age for the onset of depression has changed from the late forties to the mid 20’s with the quarter-life crisis being a significant contributor to this [3].
According to Jeffrey DeGroat, a Ph.D clinical psychologist, the real cause of this crisis is mainly from within us and not what surrounds us. This means that the best way to fix your crisis is to fix your inner self.
When you fix this, you will no longer worry about your ex-classmates who are in Hawaii on holiday because you have a plan for your life.
You will also quit trying to keep up with the Jones, especially on social media. Every achievement from one of your peers will stop feeling like he/she has robbed you opportunities thrive.
Emotional intelligence helps you react to your feelings accordingly i.e. without letting your emotions control you or get in your way [4].
More importantly, you are not alone in this. A LinkedIn survey shows that 75% of millennials between the ages of 25 and 33 experience such a crisis [5]. Even successful and happy people from all walks of life have ever experienced such a crisis and eventually made it.
In other words, experiencing a crisis in your 20’s 0r early 30’s is like having gas (a bloated stomach) after taking some poorly cooked beans — it is inevitable. Neither will you be the first person nor the last to feel this way.
Additionally, most of our peers live fake lives.
They take selfies at the beach while they don’t even know how to swim.
They take selfies in a 5-star hotel, but what you don’t know is that they might have been delivering mail at the time.
They have perfected the art of pretending how awesome their lives are, while in the real sense they are drowning in misery than you even are.
Trust me; you will come out on the other side after this crisis not only unscathed but also in a better mental state.
All you need to do is take it easy, and pursue your dreams relentlessly and aggressively and forget about what everyone else out there is doing!
I would love to hear what you think about this by posting a comment below. Remember, sharing is caring. Don’t keep this juicy information to yourself, share it with a friend, you might save a life!
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May God see us through this Crisis, I now get I am to blame for all these hence I am my only savioir .Thank you fpr bringing this to our attention
Hey Emmie,
Am glad that the article was of great help you. More great content is coming, so make sure you don’t miss out.
Great article!
Interesting… I relate to this article. I agree that we need to be way more aggressive when it comes to chasing our dreams.
True that Fredrick.