Sex now feels like a chore; you’d rather do the dishes instead. Lately, you have an eye for cute girls and/or handsome guys. You are flirting with a number of them. Worse still, you are fighting the tingle of guilt for having cheated with one, two, three…what difference does it make anyway?

Read: Husband Walks in on Cheating Wife in The Act! (based on an ugly true story!)

If you see these signs, it’s time to start Googling how to save your marriage from divorce. This is because it is in the brink of extinction. I am not done with you yet.

Related: Why An Office Wife Is The Greatest Threat To Your Marriage

You feel justified. Lately, you have nothing to talk about with your partner. You are fighting about everything and then it got to a point you stopped fighting at all.

You don’t listen, you don’t feel heard. You have surrounded yourself with your kids and pushed your partner away. You’d rather hang out in the bar after work than go home because his/her attitude is unbearable. Can’t remember the last time you went out on a date…

What happened to Your Relationship?

During courtship and immediately after a couple gets married, their relationship is filled with love. It often feels like this starry love will last till ‘death do them apart‘.

This is not always the case since 40 to 50% of marriages end in divorce. These statistics are even higher in other for the second and subsequent marriages

So what kills the love after the honeymoon is over?

After this period, reality strikes as the couple settles to the routine of life. Within months, or even weeks, differences among the couples start to emerge.

Most of these differences did exist during the courtship; it is just that couples only start to pay attention to them after they get married.

Financial strain, addictions, infidelity stress, ego clashes, and personal changes are major causes of divorce. Little do we know, that the little negative things we do on daily basis are what amounts to these mammoth causes of divorce. Here are 7 tips on how to save your marriage even when you feel like calling it quits after years of trying.

So How Do You Save Your Marriage From Divorce?

1. Do you use the wrong method to get what you want?

Do you withhold sex, give silent treatment, yell, threaten, or belittle to get what you want? This leaves your partner filled with resentment and eventually, will create a rift between you. Kindness, compassion, patience, and understanding are the best and easiest ways to get what we want.

2. Is your ego too big?

Most people think that having an inflated ego is a sign of strength. Unfortunately, the contrary is true. An inflated ego is driven by insecurities and thus we hurt our partners without knowing it.

Do you overreact and blame others for all your problems? Are you too proud to apologize? Do always feel the need to give someone who you believe has wronged you a piece of your mind?

See: 21 Signs You Are Still A Boy, Not A Man!

You have a ‘disease’ called ego. Tame it else, you will wind up being a persistent headache to your partner until they leave you. As such, instead of letting your ego push you to over-react, use it to quell your negative behavior.

This way, you will be open to fair negotiations to eventually reach a common ground. The beauty of this is that you make your marriage a win/win situation where both of you get a portion of what you want.

3. Do you keep grudges?

Unforgiveness is a grave consequence of having an inflated ego. Let’s face it, we all have some grievances against our partners. What makes or breaks a marriage is how we handle these grievances. Many-a-marriage falls apart when one or both partners hold grudges.

Little do we know that we too are not perfect, because we make mistakes and wrong others. When we understand this, forgiveness becomes an easy thing. There is great power in forgiveness. It enables us to free ourselves from anger and bitterness effectively keeping divorce at bay.

4. Did you make the wrong choice?

The best way to save your marriage before it even starts is by choosing the right partner. Equally important is understanding things that make a marriage work beforehand.

There is no perfect partner; thus it is normal to have differences in your relationship. Knowing how to solve them is what makes or breaks a marriage.

Thus, before you get married, you need to establish whether you and spouse are compatible or rather can work out your differences amicably. Don’t make the mistake of trying to change someone; this will result in more conflict.

5. Be The Hero

Every relationship needs a hero. The person who is willing to step up and set a positive tone for the relationship. The one who is sober enough to end an argument that is digressing into a cesspit of vulgarly.

6. Did You stop trying?

Sometimes, romance and love is a feeling, while other times, it is a decision. During the early stages of the relationship, couples tend to be high on the euphoria of love. At this point, his/her farts smell like strawberries.

See: Why We Make Foolish Decisions When In Love

With the daily hustle and bustle, stress, kids, and busy schedules, romance easily can slip on the back seat. At this point, you have to make a conscious decision to spice things up.

Going on a second honeymoon would be a good start. What more can do wonders to your relationship is showing small gestures of love on daily basis. This includes showing genuine praise and appreciation, going out on dates and giving gifts without any reason.

7. Do you listen?

This is absolutely important if you want to know how to save your marriage. The best communicators are good listeners. When your partner pours her emotions and feelings to you, most men tend to handle this logically.

All you do is give advice and at times get judgmental. What actually your partner needs is non-judgmental listening, understanding, empathy, and hugs.

As such, the best gift you can offer is to recognize and acknowledge your partner’s emotions even when you think they don’t deserve it. Give him/her time to talk it out without being judgmental or giving advice. This way, you will gain his/her trust and will likely to be open for advice later on.

The wrap-up

The best way to save your marriage is to give what you seek? What do you want in your relationship? Give exactly that and it will come back to you with delicious toppings.

Marriage is a good thing. This is backed by the fact that those who manage to stay married tend to be wealthier, healthier and happier, than their unhitched counterparts.