\u201cHello, I think my periods are late,\u201d she says after they have been on the line for a couple of minutes. \u201cThey will come don\u2019t worry,\u201d Nelson responds.<\/p>\n
\u201cI mean I have missed my periods; this is the second month.\u201d\u00a0\u201cOhh really?\u201d He responds in a somewhat pitched tone.<\/p>\n
\u201cYes really! Do you know what that means?\u201d She asks anxiously?<\/p>\n
\u201cHahaha!” He feigns a laugh.\u00a0 C\u2019mon, you are overreaching\u2026I think I should say congratulations. So who is the lucky guy?\u201d<\/p>\n
He can hear her panting on the other of the line muttering some inaudible curses!\u00a0\u201cYou, you, you mean, you mean\u2026\u201d she stutters on breathlessly.<\/p>\n
\u201cAre you serious?!\u201d She finally gathers her words. \u201cThis is your child **&*^&*!\u201d\u00a0\u00a0\u201cWow, you don\u2019t have to go all out vulgar, it was just a question.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYour stupidity and cowardice sometimes shocks me.\u201d She retorts.<\/p>\n
Related:\u00a021 Signs You Are Still A Boy, Not A Man!<\/a><\/p>\n Also Read:\u00a09 Telltale Signs You Are Dating A Sociopath<\/a><\/p>\n \u201cC\u2019mon Linzy, you and I know that I am not the only guy you\u2019ve been going down with raw. I\u2019m not going to let you pin this on me!\u201d Nelson mounts his defense.<\/p>\n \u201cBe a man enough to own up to your responsibility\u2026\u201d She pleads.<\/p>\n Though 5 or so years have passed since they had this hysterical conversation, it is still fresh on Nelson\u2019s mind. It was neither his last. To be more precise, he\u2019s had two more that have played out more or less just like that.<\/p>\n The first and the third baby mamas abandoned their chase after they discovered that he was a loathsome deadbeat that only managed to drive them into raging lunatics.<\/p>\n It got pretty ugly though with the second baby daddy. I guess he met his match because she was all out for blood. She\u2019s pulled out Kamikaze moves on him that made him regret having ever met her leave alone not wearing the rubber during his 2 minutes of glory.<\/p>\n You should probably read,\u00a0Are Our Men Getting Sexually Weaker?<\/a><\/p>\n For the past three years, she has had him arrested countless times, and dragged him in and out of courts to coerce him to pay for child support.<\/p>\n Just the other day, he bumped into Linzy (first baby mama) minding her own business at the mall. In tow with her were two kids; a gorgeous one-year-oldish girl and a charming boy about 4 years or so of age.<\/p>\n As he weighed whether to go scamper for the hills or to shamelessly go ahead and say hi, a guy comes along pushing a tricycle and gifts the boy.<\/p>\n The boy\u2019s face lights up like a bulb as he almost runs him over with hugs, screams, kisses, praises\u2026a spectacle that makes Nelson\u2019s eyes wet momentarily.<\/p>\n Amidst, all that chaos, he catches the word \u2018dad<\/em><\/strong>.\u2019 What was more unsettling for Nelson was that the boy had an uncanny resemblance to himself \u2013 he had his signature forehead, and wide curious eyes.<\/p>\n I guess you could term the realization as his moment of reckoning. His hurt sunk; it probably hit the rock bottom and shattered into a thousand pieces.<\/p>\n He walked right out of the mall like a zombie. How he got home is still a puzzle, all he can remember is motorists hooting and yelling at him in outrage.<\/p>\n Seated on his favorite couch, he puffs the cigarette hard. He\u2019s just smoked an entire packet in a span of two hours. He also takes a gulp of the vodka, right from the bottle, that oddly tastes like horse piss.<\/p>\n \u201cMy own son (who doesn\u2019t know that I exist) is now doing so well being another man\u2019s son<\/em>.\u201d This realization, plunged him into a fever pitch crisis. \u201cMy other son and daughter can barely recognize me, what kind of a man I\u2019m I<\/em>?\u201d these thoughts haunt him as he bangs his head against the wall.<\/p>\n All he knew is that there was something broken in him and that he needed help like yesterday. \u201cTell me about your childhood<\/em>,\u201d the counselor asks.<\/p>\n His life flashed before his eyes momentarily. He had an interesting childhood.<\/p>\n His mother was a housewife while his father was a military man who was barely ever around. He was always scared sh*tless of him, maybe because he ran the home like a military camp.<\/p>\n He believed that he gave you your life, and if push comes to shove, he would sure fire take it away. When his sister got pregnant at 16, she disappeared from home for good. She feared that their dad would not just slit her gut open. He would as well drag her dead pregnant body through the streets as a lesson to any girl out there thinking of spreading her legs.<\/p>\n Related:\u00a0Are We Babying Our Kids To Death?<\/a><\/p>\n When he was not rebuking him for acting like a woman, he was preaching about how a man is never scared, never shed\u2019s tears, never goes to the kitchen, never\u2026<\/p>\n \u201cI want to join the military<\/em>,\u201d Nelson told his father just after he had graduated high school. That was the countable times he has seen his father laugh.<\/p>\n \u201cDon\u2019t bother<\/em>\u201d his father responds sarcastically, \u201cYou will not last a day, and I really don\u2019t want to be embarrassed<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n That was the last time he has ever asked for a favor from him. How was he stupid enough to expect anything from him? He has never shown up for any of his graduations, or even bought him a birthday present!!<\/p>\n \u201cYou feel like he\u2019s disappointed or embarrassed with you<\/em>?\u201d The shrink asks? \u201cTell me about your kids and their mothers?<\/em>\u201d The shrink adds. \u201cI will be honest with you,\u201d the shrink said. What you are suffering from is fragile masculinity<\/a>, toxic masculinity and daddy issues<\/a> but it is not your fault.<\/p>\n \u201cFRAGILE\u2026 DADDY WHAT??\u201d Nelson responds almost shouting.<\/p>\n \u201cI know it sounds insulting but there is no better way to put it<\/em>,\u201d the shrink adds. Unfortunately, it is your father\u2019s fault.<\/p>\n He never taught you how to be a man; all he told you is not to be like a woman. As if a woman is a lesser human being. The fact that your father was never there for you, makes you feel rejected, or not worthy to be loved.<\/p>\n Your aggressive and violent nature, and being a serial adulterer, is just a messed up way of proving to yourself and the world that you are man enough and you are loveable. Unfortunately, dominance, overt sexual prowess, and rebellion have nothing to do with being a man.<\/p>\n You are chasing the affirmation that you never got from your father in the wrong places and in the wrong ways. It is all about discipline and strength under control. He never showed you how to harness this strength to protect, nurture and to bless.<\/p>\n You can\u2019t give what you don\u2019t have though. So forgive your father because he did not know any better. Unfortunately, you are about to pass the baton of toxic\/fragile masculinity and daddy issues to your children.<\/p>\n It is not too late though, you can unlearn the toxic things they taught you. Start learning the right things about how to be a man, not just for your sake but for your future generation.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" \u201cHello, I think my periods are late,\u201d she says after they have been on the line for a couple of minutes. \u201cThey will come don\u2019t worry,\u201d Nelson responds. \u201cI mean I have missed my periods; this is the second month.\u201d\u00a0\u201cOhh really?\u201d He responds in a somewhat pitched tone. \u201cYes really! Do you know what that<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3013,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[69,2,3,64,73],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\nA Loathsome Deadbeat<\/h2>\n
The Day of Reckoning<\/h2>\n
The Shrink<\/h2>\n
\nTheir mother too did not escape the brunt of their father\u2019s wrath. He\u2019s witnessed her being slapped around and kicked out of the house a couple of times.<\/p>\n
\n\u201cExactly<\/em>\u201d Nelson responds.<\/p>\n
\nNelsons opens his heart for the first time. Tears that have been held for a lifetime flow as he narrates his earth-shaking story.<\/p>\nHow To Be a Man Like There Used To Be<\/h2>\n
\nHe never got down to the ground and wrestled with you to show you what being a man is all about.<\/p>\n